To Weave Or Not to Weave

In order to facilitate this debate, some background facts are important.

1) M is a pathological weavaholic. She smells, feels, stalks weave. I do mean this in the figurative sense that she loves weave… But I also mean it literally. She smells it for the scent, feels it for the texture and stalks it online (Babes gots to find human hair sales).

2) F is sick of weave and relaxer and is therefore going natural.

Now… on to the debate.

F here...

I strongly believe that there a perception ingrained into us all (yes, even our Caucasian sisters) that straight hair = beautiful hair. I will not start the whole "Black girls want to look white" debate because it is bullshit. Majority of the white girls we see with sleek, straight locks do not wake up like that. They spray, perm and/or burn (straighten) their hair into shape every other morning. Many people of European descent actually have frizzy hair, though not in the kinky Afro sense of we dudus.

With that being said, we are all prisoners of this ideology. The view that we must do anything to straighten our hair. This is why we put chemicals in our children's hair under the guise of "texturising" or "relaxing" their hair. Children as young as three years old have this horrible thing put into their hair before they can decide for themselves. Even the ones old enough to choose can't wait to relax because they want their hair to be straight like their friends. My cousins have been berating their mothers to "get the relaxer like (insert name of classmate) since they were five or six. I myself pined for the accurately named creamy crack for ages until my mum agreed after I turned sixteen. Of course, after relaxer comes the next frontier of sewing or gluing "extra help" onto our hair. This practice even has different levels:

=> razz = synthetic (a.k.a. plastic)

=> alright = protein (synthetically manufactured, but with feel of human hair... think Pro 10)

=> wa sere = correct babe; human hair and most importantly...

=> BIGZZZ GEHLZZZZ = Remy/Brazillian hair. You are a bad bitch if you have this.

Now, I totally understand people who would call me a paranoid, exaggerating fool because weave/relaxer etc. is no more than a style. "We know we are not white and are not trying to go Michael Jackson on you, CALM DOWN! We just like the look, the style, the (whatever else… you get the point)." I also understand the versatility that weaves bring to the table. Being able to go from curly to straight or short to long without constantly assaulting your real hair is convenient and quite fun. I GET THAT.

However, this argument can only work if different "styles" are equally valid. Note that I said valid, not preferred. Someone else's dreadlocks are just as valid as the next guy's afro even if I prefer to have dreads. The real problem is the belief that hair MUST be straight, and nappy and natural is COMPLETELY out of the question. This is why I am strongly against relaxers. Sewing some extensions in or even heat-straightening your hair is QUITE DIFFERENT from chemically (and permanently) altering its compostion to achieve some form of cosmetic enhancement. Most black girls would not bleach their skin and actively tease or even ridicule those who do. Yet, many consistently do this to their hair. Forgive me for thinking there is something wrong with that.

God made us with kinky hair. In the same way, we were not born with painted faces. We can choose to take the initiative to wear extensions and/or make-up but there is a significant problem if we become totally dependent on these "additions". If you cannot do without weave or cannot leave your house without wearing make-up, something is wrong. Check yourself.

M says:

AHHH I've been dreading this argument.... I am a self confessed weavaholic, I spend a lot of my time reading, studying about weaves and their maintenance obsessing about what weave to do next etc [if I spent that much studying I would be an A+ student (sigh) ]. In summary I am WEAVE OBSESSED.

There is an argument floating somewhere in the universe about us black people trying to be white by straightening our hair… OK going be a little bit of a Geek about this I went to study the debate basically this originated with the emancipated slaves they left that to be considered as Equals they must be as similar to their Caucasian captors. F has spoken out this so I'm not going to go that much into it. OK maybe in the case of the slaves they must have had some kind need to conform. But now at days IT'S NOT TRUE. When I buy my weaves I'm not thinking "Ah this is going to make me look WHITER or it seems like a good day to conform to the White man's conformist universalistic agenda." REALLY PEOPLE it's not that bad... We live in an Individualistic society- where the aim is to be unique and our hair is a means of expression, so if I shave my hair or place another person's Hair still with the cuticles attached it's my prerogative.

Some people are blessed with the gift of long fast growing hair while some of us are left with brittle slow growing hair while some women are cursed with alopecia (baldness) now I want all those people who think that we are all CAUCASIAN WANNABE's justify that… (Insert resounding silence). Because honestly you can't, you can't give certain people a pass at being "fake" and chastise the rest of us…

Our hair is an extension of who we are and we can and should use it as we see fit. The concept of real or fake; natural or relaxed; Cornrows or weave... It's all the same; As long as it's done for the right reasons, you know 2 make you feel better, change your look, look nicer. And if it's not well …………….

ITS ALL GOOD ANYWAYS!!

Now, with all this being said... TO WEAVE OR NOT TO WEAVE?